Decisions
by Nega-darkwing
Summary: Poems about decisions made by the five children. Poetrys not my forte, so please be gentle.
1. Rei's decision: I Am Not Your Doll

First Child's Decision: I Am Not Your Doll  
  
  
  
It is the day I have been waiting for.  
  
It is the day I was made for.  
  
My purpose will be fulfilled.  
  
And at last I will be free.  
  
Free for that which I desired.  
  
Free to die, to return to nothingness.  
  
  
"He" puts his hand in my chest, and I know,  
  
All this time I've just been a doll  
  
"He" never cared, no one did.  
  
But wait...  
  
One did.  
  
The Third Child.  
  
  
"He" cared for me as a tool.  
  
The Third cared for me as a person.  
  
"He" kept my alone, so I would not live.  
  
The Third tried to know me,  
  
"He" never did.  
  
Only one has cared if I lived.  
  
  
Suddenly I see who is worthy,  
  
And who is not.  
  
I push "Him" away,  
  
"He" does not deserve the future.  
  
I see his confusion, how could I turn?  
  
"He" still believes I am his doll.  
  
  
  
"I am not your doll"  
  
  
  
Redundant authors notes: In case you couldn't guess "He" refers to Gendo. And   
this was about Rei's rejecting him at the start of third impact.  
  
  



	2. Asuka's Decision: I Am Worthless

Second Child's Decision: I Am Worthless.  
  
  
They ask me to move.  
  
But I can't.  
  
Why should it move?  
  
Not for me.  
  
  
  
They pull me back.  
  
Why bother?  
  
What good am I?  
  
Who can't even pilot her Eva?  
  
  
  
I used to hate the doll.  
  
But now I know.  
  
I'm no better than her.  
  
We who both exist just to pilot.  
  
  
  
I hear the doll kill herself.  
  
Wish I could be as brave.  
  
It's my fault you see.  
  
I broke the doll.  
  
  
  
Shinji tried to care.  
  
But if I let him...  
  
I'd still lose him.  
  
And that I could not bear.  
  
  
  
Now I am the one who is lost.  
  
I'm just a useless doll.  
  
I serve no purpose.  
  
I doubt I ever did  
  
  
  
"I am worthless"  
  
  
  
Not so redundant authors note: This is set right about the time that Rei 2 died. I   
figure that by then Asuka really had no confidence left, and that she would have   
been well into her collapse. Also I couldn't really think of to many important   
decisions she made.  
  



	3. Shinji's Decision: I Am Shinji Ikari

Third Child's Decision: I Am Shinji Ikari  
  
  
  
What can I do?  
  
I'm just a boy.  
  
"He" proved that.  
  
Putting my friends blood on my hands.  
  
Not allowing my rage.  
  
And not even saying why.  
  
  
  
A flash, and down goes Rei.  
  
Asuka's already lost.  
  
It's strong this one.  
  
This Angel.  
  
Of Might.  
  
Of Death.  
  
  
  
Then it hits me.  
  
What Kaji's been saying.  
  
Kaji can't save anyone.  
  
"He" can't save anyone.  
  
Only I can.  
  
I just have to want to.  
  
  
  
I run, because I hope,  
  
Hope that maybe this will redeem me.  
  
That I can wash the blood from my hands.  
  
Toji's blood, Rei and Asuka's too,  
  
Because I waited.  
  
  
  
I see "Him" towering there.  
  
But he can't save anyone.  
  
I can, I will.  
  
I know why I pilot.  
  
"He" want's to know why I'm here.  
  
The answers obvious.  
  
  
  
"I am Shinji Ikari! I am the pilot of Evangalion Unit-01!"  
  
  
  
Very redundant authors note: Obviously from when Shinji went to fight the   
fourteenth angel. What more explanation is required?  
  



	4. Toji's Decision: All Right. I'll Do It...

Fourth Child's Decision: All right. I'll Do It  
  
  
  
They've got to be crazy.  
  
Wanting me for this.  
  
Theirs no way I'd ever do it.  
  
So just go away.  
  
  
  
But they aren't done.  
  
They have a plan.  
  
An offer I cannot refuse.  
  
The one thing I will not say no to.  
  
  
Damn them.  
  
For the chance to see her walk again,  
  
I would sell my soul to the devil.  
  
And I just did.  
  
  
  
Maybe it won't be so bad  
  
No it will.  
  
I just know it's gonna be bad.  
  
But I have to.  
  
  
  
I'll do it for Shinji.  
  
The demon and Ayanami too.  
  
But most off all.  
  
I'll do it for you sister.  
  
  
  
I fear the Eva's.  
  
Their monsters.  
  
But with what they are offering...  
  
How could I refuse?  
  
  
  
"All right. I'll do it.  
  
Somewhat redundant authors notes: This would be Toji's reaction to being asked to   
pilot. I wrote it the way I did because I think Toji was a strait forward person.  
  



	5. Kawrou's Decision: Thank You

Fifth Child's Decision: Thank You.  
  
  
  
Now I understand them.  
  
Now I understand you.  
  
Why you live.  
  
Why you love.  
  
Why I love you.  
  
Why you love me.  
  
  
  
Lillims want to live.  
  
Life and death are not equal to them.  
  
They will fight to exist.  
  
Even using that which they hate.  
  
And they will also love.  
  
And they will hate.  
  
  
  
You are human Shinji.  
  
You will use Eva.  
  
Even though you hate it.  
  
You will kill me.  
  
Even though you love me.  
  
I place myself in your hands.  
  
  
  
They are fools.  
  
Ayanami is like me.  
  
She too will place her fate,  
  
In Shinji's hands.  
  
All plans will fail.  
  
For he is kind.  
  
  
  
Now fulfill my will.  
  
I will not live,  
  
If you are to die.  
  
You are deserving  
  
More than anybody.  
  
Pure soul.  
  
  
  
"Thank you. My life was meaningful because of you."  
  
  
  
Extremely redundant authors note: Obviously when Kawrou had Shinji kill him.   
This was the last I wrote, but the idea was the first I came up with.  
  



End file.
